Broken: (McIntyre Security Bodyguard Series - Book 3) Read online

  Jonah pulls back and looks at me beseechingly, as if waiting for the answer to an unspoken question.

  I have to close my eyes, because looking at what I can’t have hurts too much. When I open them again, I resolve to put a quick end to this. “You’re wasting your time, Jonah. I told you, I’m not interested.”

  His eyes narrow. “You’re lying.”

  Now he’s pissing me off. I shove him hard, knocking him off balance, and he has to catch himself before he falls. “Your ego is showing, asshole. Here’s the thing, Jonah. You don’t get to decide what I want. I do.”

  I expect anger from him, resentment even. Instead, he’s got a stupid grin on his face.

  I’m completely baffled. “Why are you smiling?”

  He shakes his head, laughing. “Everyone in my life wants something from me. They either want money, or publicity, or they want to control me. You’re the only person I’ve ever met who doesn’t give a flying fuck about any of those things. I’m literally throwing myself at you, and you couldn’t care less.”

  He takes a step closer, and his voice drops an octave. “I’m in awe of you, Lia.”

  His gaze is hot as he raises his hand to my face and gently brushes his thumb across my lower lip. “You’re fierce and you take no prisoners.” His gaze searches mine. “But here’s the thing. I think you’re lying, both to me and to yourself. I know desire when I see it, Lia. You want this as much as I do, so what gives? And please don’t give me any crap about company policy, because when do you ever follow company policy when it doesn’t suit you?”

  I have to smile at that – he’s right. I’ve never let company policy stop me when I wanted something.

  Before I can say a word, he adds, “And don’t tell me you don’t sleep with clients, because I don’t think you’d let anything stand in the way of what you want. Hell, I’ll fire McIntyre Security right this second, if that’s what it takes. I’ll call Shane and tell him his services are no longer needed, so don’t use the company as your excuse.”

  His warm hands cradle my face, and he gazes into my eyes, his dark eyes seeming to see right through me. Slowly, he leans down and kisses me, a soft gentle kiss that speaks of desire and need. “I want you, Lia.” His lips brush mine. “I’ve never wanted anyone so much in my life.”

  He pulls back and pins me with his gaze, and I can barely breathe. “Give us a chance. Give me a chance. Please.”

  Tears spring into my eyes, prickling and stinging, and I swipe an angry fist across them. I resent the fact he’s made me weepy, that he’s made me want to try. “You’re such a jerk,” I say, my voice wavering as I stifle a reluctant laugh.

  “Is that a yes?”

  “It’s a maybe.”

  “Close enough.”

  Jonah sweeps me up into his arms and carries me down the hallway to the fitness room. He shoulders open the door and carries me inside, then closes the door with his foot. The heat from his body radiates outward, filling my senses. I can smell him, his warm skin fresh from a shower, the faint hint of soap. It’s a tantalizing mixture of scents, and it does something to my insides.

  When I feel one of his hands on my face, his fingers gently searching my face in the semi-darkness, my knees go weak. He could be grabbing my tits or my ass, but he’s not. He’s touching my face. As if it’s really me he’s interested in, and not just getting his rocks off.

  There’s a faint bit of light coming through the blinds, just enough that I can see the tension in his expression, how his jaw is clenched tightly, his nostrils flaring with arousal. He’s breathing heavily, his chest heaving as he watches me, waiting for something. For what? A signal?

  Can I do this? God, I know it’s a mistake, but right now my body is so on board with the idea, I’m finding it hard to shut him down. I tilt my head up to see his face, studying the curve of his lips, the straight line of his nose. His hair is loose around his shoulders and a bit damp from a shower. I reach up and finger a wavy strand, wrapping it around my finger, just like Jonah’s trying to wrap himself around my heart.

  My heart’s off limit, but my body... it has needs. And Jonah’s doing a damn good job of stoking that fire.

  I do want him. At least I can be honest enough with myself to admit that. “All right, fine.”

  His eyebrows rise, as if he’s surprised.

  Taking a deep breath and mentally steeling myself, I whip off my T-shirt and drop it to the floor. I’m no prude, nor a shrinking violet. This is sex, pure and simple. I want it, he wants it, so there’s no point in drawing this out and turning it into something it’s not. My sports bra follows my T-shirt to the floor with a light thud. Jonah’s staring at me in the flickering moonlight as if enthralled.

  “Is there a problem?” I say, reaching down to pull off my boots and socks.

  “No.” His voice sounds incredulous. And then his hands go to the waist band of his sweats and he shoves them to the floor, leaving him naked. The fact that he was commando underneath just makes me that much hotter. Just the sight of his naked body makes my sex clench hotly.

  I rid myself of my cargo pants and undies just as quickly.

  My hands find his cock unerringly as it bobs in the air between us, already stiff as a rod, thick and hot against my fingers. I latch onto him, drawing him closer, and he makes a gruff sound low in his throat as he takes a step toward me, bringing our bodies flush. The heat and the substantial size of him feel so good in my hands.

  He has an incredible body, with broad, well-muscled shoulders, firm biceps covered in tats, and strong forearms. His hands snake around my torso, pulling me close. I groan at the feel of my bare breasts brushing against his lightly furred chest. His cock stirs eagerly between us.

  He runs his hands down my back, then lets them slip farther down to cup my buttocks. When he draws me closer, I feel his erection nudging my belly. I groan at the contact. The truth is, I’ve been thinking about this a lot, wondering what he would feel like, what he would taste like. And now it appears I’ll get to find out.

  I sink to my knees, padded by the pile of our discarded clothing on the floor, and wet my tongue before flicking it out to swipe the head of his cock. I catch a taste of his pre-come.

  He jerks, and his cock kicks hard in my hands. “Lia!”

  But I’m not here for conversation. I’m here to fuck. And that’s what we’re going to do – that’s all we’re going to do. I keep reminding myself, this is just a hook-up, pure and simple, nothing more. I won’t let it be anything more.

  Whatever he was about to say ends up a garbled mess when I suck him deep into my mouth, one hand stroking his length as the other cradles his heavy sac.

  He shudders. “Jesus, Lia!”

  I pull back and look up at him, shocked by the intensity in his heated gaze. Then I proceed to blow his mind, using my lips and tongue and hand to stroke, lick, and caress every inch of him, from the bulbous head, down his thick stalk, to the root of his cock. Breathing hard and fast, he strokes my hair as he murmurs mindless praise.

  I’ve learned to take control of sexual encounters, doing this on my terms. If I drive him crazy right off the bat, he’ll be desperate to get inside me, desperate to come. And while I’m driving him over the edge, I can easily take care of myself in the process, then quietly make my escape. It’s a win-win for both of us. And afterward, we can pretend it never happened. We can go right back to the way things were.

  I walk him back toward the sofa and push him down, then kneel between his legs. His erection is impressive, lifting up from the thatch of dark hair between his legs. A shaft of light hits him right on his chest, and I’m treated with a visual feast. His chest is a work of art, with its beautifully defined pectoral muscles and crisp dark hair. His arms are rugged, with sexy tendons leading down to his strong, long-fingered hands. Those hands, so gentle now, are stroking the sides of my head and he’s watching me swallow his cock with an intensity that takes my breath away.

  Our gazes connect, and I can’t lo
ok away. With his gorgeous body on display, and his wild, dark hair down loose on his shoulders, he looks like a fallen angel. I want him like this, not all tidy and neat, but raw and exposed.

  His skin is tan, bronzed by the sun, and his abdomen is ridged with taut muscles. His chest hair converges into a thin dark line that leads down to my destination. He spreads his legs to make room for his heavy sac.

  I stroke his cock from root to tip with one hand, while my other hand slips between his thighs to gently massage his balls. I lean forward to take him into my mouth again, when he stops me.

  “Come here,” he says, trying to pull me up onto the sofa with him.

  I imagine he thinks this is about hearts and flowers, cuddling and kisses. But that’s not what I’m looking for. I use my mouth and my hands to short circuit his brain, licking and sucking him in deep, with the sole purpose of driving him wild. Soon his hips are bucking as he lifts himself, mindlessly trying to shove himself deeper into my mouth. He’s breathing hard, gasping, his hands cradling my head.

  “Lia, my God! Please!”

  I’m not sure what he’s asking for. Please what? Stop? Keep going? Make him come? When his balls tighten and draw up, and I know he’s close. I can feel the blood pounding through his length, a thick vein pulsing in time with his rapid heartbeat. He’s so close! He’s pulling on me now, trying to get me to come up onto the sofa with him.

  It dawns at me that we’re missing something crucial. “Shit! Condoms!” I rise to my feet and make a run for the bathroom, where I know there’s a stash of condoms in the cupboard. I grab one and return to the sofa, ripping open the small packet. I roll it down his erection, then crawl up next to him on the sofa. I open my legs to make room for him, then pull him down on top of me.

  “Wait,” he says. “Where’s the rush?”

  His lips mold themselves to mine, and his kiss is unexpectedly sweet, taking me by surprise. I was expecting something quick and frantic, not this tenderness. When I suck in a shaky breath, he takes advantage and deepens the kiss, sliding his tongue inside my mouth, stroking me and setting my body on fire. As if he can tell what he’s doing to me, he slips his hand down between us and touches me, slipping his fingers between my flushed folds.

  I chuckle. “Don’t worry, I’m ready.”

  I know I’m ready because I can feel the wetness between my legs. My sex is tingling, throbbing with need. I take hold of him and guide him to my opening. He groans as the head of his cock nudges inside me, sinking into wet flesh.

  But he takes his sweet time, rocking gently into me, one slow inch at a time.

  I lift my hips and urge him deeper inside. He thrusts, and I gasp at the sudden fullness. He’s a big guy. A really big guy. I can’t remember ever being stretched like this before. It steals my breath.

  Jonah lifts my leg over his hip, opening me up so he can settle more fully between my thighs. I can’t help moaning at the tantalizing sensation of being filled like this.

  “Are you all right?” he says, searching my gaze.

  “Yes. Just... yes, I’m fine.”

  Coated with my arousal, he moves more easily now, stroking inside me with a rhythm and angle designed to make me come. I lift my hips, meeting him thrust for thrust, urging him to move faster, harder.

  “Lia.”

  I close my eyes, wanting to savor the pleasure of feeling him move inside me. “What?”

  “Baby – ”

  “Don’t call me that!”

  “Slow down. There’s no rush.”

  I open my eyes to see that he’s gritting his teeth. He’s clearly on edge, and I wonder how long it’s been for him. I don’t like the way he’s looking at me, like he’s on the verge of confessing something I don’t want to hear.

  I tighten my sex on him, squeezing him hard, and he cries out as his orgasm hits him fast and hard. He comes with a hoarse cry, his expression tight, as if he’s in pain. I don’t bother to get myself off, because I can’t stay another minute. I’ve got to get out of here before he says something that will ruin everything... before he says something he can’t take back, something we can’t pretend away.

  I push him off of me and roll off the sofa, leaving him in stunned silence, watching me as I pull on my clothes. While he deals with the condom, I let myself out of the room and shut the door behind me, then make a run for it, seeking the solace of my bedroom.

  After a quick trip to the bathroom to clean up, I strip off my clothes and crawl between my sheets, hugging the spare pillow to me. My throat is painfully tight, and I can feel scalding tears on my cheeks. I’m shaking, and I feel like I’ve been put through a ringer.

  “Shit!” It was supposed to be a hook up, that’s it! Nothing more! I never expected to feel like this. But now there’s a giant, aching hole in my chest. I press my face into my pillow to catch the tears that won’t stop. I don’t want to feel anything, damn it!

  I’m so wrapped up in my own emotional meltdown that I don’t hear Jonah slip into my room. The only warning I get is the shock of his hot body sliding into bed behind me, his arms coming around me as he pulls me against his chest.

  “Jesus, Lia,” he says, holding me close. His lips are in my hair as he alternately kisses and nuzzles the back of my head, sending shivers courses through me. “You want to tell me what the hell all that was about?”

  Chapter 21

  I realize numbly that he’s wearing his sweat pants, while I’m naked. But at the moment, I really don’t care. His arms feel so good around me, I turn to him and press my nose against his chest and breathe deeply, loving the warm, male scent of him. I just want to close my eyes and allow myself to enjoy the moment. And for a little while, I can pretend I’m not some fucked up girl who’s incapable of trusting a guy.

  “I’m not just some random fuck, you know,” he says without heat, as he brushes my hair back from my face. “I won’t let you trivialize what we did. Why did you run out on me? You couldn’t get out of there fast enough.”

  “What are you complaining about? You got your rocks off.”

  He chuckles. “If getting my rocks off was all I was interested in, I could have done that alone upstairs in my room.”

  I try to pull away, but he holds me tight. “Well, that’s all I’m offering.”

  “That’s not enough,” he says. “I want more. I don’t want a quick fuck in the dark. I want you.”

  “You had me.”

  “No, I didn’t.” He comes up on his elbows, looming over me. “I want you, Lia. Not just a fuck. I can get that anywhere.”

  His gaze drifts down to my lips, and my mouth suddenly goes dry.

  “Why me?” I say, as my heart thunders in my chest.

  He shrugs. “The heart wants what it wants, right? All I know is that when I look at you, my entire body sits up and takes notice. It’s everything about you – your strength, your fearlessness, your beauty, hell, even your snarky attitude turns me on. I watch you go after people twice your size and I’m like, Damn! Look at her.”

  I shake my head, chuckling. The man is nuts.

  “Are you blushing?” he says, smiling. “You are. You’re blushing!”

  “I am not!” I half-heartedly shove him, but he doesn’t budge.

  He grins. “Lia, we both know you could break my balls in a heartbeat if you wanted to. But you haven’t. Why is that?”

  “Don’t tempt me,” I growl, trying to buck him off me.

  “I think it’s because you don’t want to hurt me.”

  “Like I said, don’t tempt me, Locke. I’m this close to tossing your ass across the room.”

  He leans down and brushes the tip of his nose against mine. It’s an unexpected, gentle move, and it throws me off balance. My traitorous tongue comes out to wet my lips, as if it has a mind of its own.

  “I know you can,” he whispers, his lips just inches above mine. “But the thing is, I don’t think you want to.” He runs the tip of his index finger down the bridge of my nose. “I watched you drop th
ose two guys at McIntyre Security without a second thought. You didn’t hesitate for one second.”

  Slowly, Jonah skims his lips along my jawline, then down the curve of my throat to my pulse point, where he plants a deep kiss. I feel a soft fluttering in my belly and an aching heat between my legs. My body is so primed to come, right on the edge, and he’s turning me into a wreck.

  He breathes my name against my throat as he kisses my pulse, which I’m ashamed to admit is racing. “Make love with me this time.”

  The yearning in his eyes is palpable. He leans over me, and his hands grasp mine and press them to the mattress, one on either side of my head. He waits for an answer, as patient as always, while my heart is galloping in my chest and I’m drowning in need. He doesn’t play fair.

  I know what he wants, of course. It’s not just sex – he wants a connection. He wants all that emotional crap – the very thing I’ve taught myself to live without. But I can’t do the emotion thing. I did it once, and it nearly killed me. I can’t go through that again. And with a celebrity who’s always in the spotlight? Impossible!

  I shake my head, sorrow gutting me. “I can’t.” My voice is little more than a hoarse whisper. “I can’t give you what you want. You’re wasting your time with me.”

  For a moment, he can’t hide his disappointment. Then his expression hardens. “Why are you so afraid? Somebody really did a number on you, didn’t they? I’d sure like to know who.”

  “Forget it. It doesn’t matter.”

  “Of course it matters.” He quickly switches gears. “You gave me one hell of a lot of pleasure tonight. Now it’s my turn to return the favor.”

  He rolls on top of me, and I squirm beneath him, half-heartedly trying to buck him off. But he weighs a ton, and he’s not easily dislodged. I can feel his erection pressing against me, and my belly clenches with need. “You don’t need to.”

  “But I want to. You had your mouth on me. What makes you think I don’t want the same thing?”

  Oh, my God, the thought of him going down on me is both thrilling and absolutely terrifying. I’ve never let any guy do that to me. “No, Jonah. We can’t.” It’s been a long day, and I’m hardly fresh as a daisy. At least he had the luxury of showering earlier. “We just had sex, and I haven’t showered.”