Fearless: (McIntyre Security Bodyguard Series - Book 2) Read online

  When we walk into the kitchen to dispose of our empty food containers, we find Cooper pulling a beer out of the fridge. I’m not exactly surprised to see him here. He has a tendency to show up unexpectedly.

  “Evenin’, ladies,” he says.

  I detect a faint southern drawl in his voice. It comes through when he’s tired or upset.

  He holds up a bottle of beer. “Can I get either of you a drink?”

  Lia hops up onto one of the barstools at the breakfast bar. “I’ll have what you’re having.” She deftly catches the chilled bottle Cooper tosses her way.

  He looks at me, his impassive expression giving away nothing. “How about you, kiddo?”

  I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he’s here. “Did Shane send you?”

  Cooper nods. “He sent me to check up on you and report back.” He wags the neck of his beer bottle at me. “He’s worried. You’ve got him pretty freaked out, young lady.”

  Lia takes a swig of her beer. “Serves him right for being a douche bag.”

  Cooper frowns. “Cut him some slack, Lia. This is all new territory for him. He’s trying, and he means well.”

  I’m glad Cooper’s here. I walk right up to him, and he opens his arms wide. I step into his embrace and wrap my good arm around his waist as his arms close around me, careful of my cast. “I’m glad you’re here,” I say. “Thanks for helping us escape this morning.”

  Cooper gives me a gentle squeeze and a fatherly pat on my back. “No problem, kid.”

  A yawn signals an end to my evening. “I’m wiped, you guys. I’m going to bed.”

  “Good night, honey,” Cooper says.

  “Are you staying the night?” I ask him.

  “Yep. That’s the plan.”

  “Good.”

  Lia waves her beer bottle at me. “Sleep well, Princess. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  As soon as I walk into Shane’s private domain – his apartment within the apartment – hot tears well up and spill over. I’ve been holding it in all day, a basket case of frayed nerves, and now that I’m alone, I don’t have to try to pretend everything’s all right.

  “Lights, twenty percent.”

  I walk over to the exterior wall, which is floor-to-ceiling glass, and look out. My bird’s eye view of Lake Michigan to the left and the city to the right is magical, especially on a clear night like tonight. I can see lights twinkling on the lake as evening cruise ships make their way through the inky black water. The glass and stone skyscrapers to the right are lit up like Christmas trees. There’s a helicopter making its way lazily across the night sky, and it seems almost close enough that I can reach out and touch it.

  I glance across the room at the big bed and feel a pang of loneliness. This is the first time I’ll be sleeping alone in this bed. In Shane’s bed. It’s also the first night we’ve slept apart since I came to live with him at his estate.

  It wasn’t that long ago that Shane and I made love for the first time right here in this room. I’d never thought I could trust a man enough to let him in the way I let Shane in. And despite our disastrous first attempt at sex that night – which ended with me in ugly hysterics – the night ended beautifully, thanks to Shane’s patience and perseverance.

  I look around the suite, which seems so large and empty without him here. Besides the sleeping area, there’s a cozy living space with a sofa and coffee table, a stone hearth, a large flat-screen TV, a bar, and a small kitchen. I remember the first time Shane gave me whisky, and I smile at the memory of how I coughed and sputtered after tasting that awful stuff.

  I can’t help wondering what Shane’s doing right now. Is he in bed? Still in his office?

  After a quick trip to the bathroom, I raid Shane’s closet for a t-shirt to sleep in, and then I climb into the huge bed and burrow beneath the soft bedding.

  The last time I was in this bed was the night of the hospital charity benefit – the night Andrew accosted me on the dance floor. The night Shane put the fear of God into Andrew and warned him to stay away from me, or at least that’s what he thought. Unfortunately, it hadn’t worked out that way. A few days later was when Andrew took his anger and resentment out on me, and almost killed me in the process. Now he’s locked up tight, and I can’t help feeling sorry for him.

  I don’t bother with a nightlight tonight, because the chocolate-colored drapes are wide open and a full moon hangs fat and bright in the night sky. Coupled with the ambient light of the city at night, the moon provides plenty of illumination. I know it’s ridiculous for someone my age to need a nightlight, but when it’s dark, I’m bombarded with memories of that dank, dark cellar and the smell of damp earth and mold.

  It all comes rushing back – the cold, the pitch black darkness, the helplessness of being tied up and left alone. The pain of an overfull bladder that I was loathe to release because even at six years of age, I knew I was too old to pee on myself. So, yeah, I’d rather suffer the embarrassment of needing a nightlight than go down memory lane.

  I wrap my arms around Shane’s pillow and wish it were him I was cuddling with instead. I try in vain to fall asleep, but it’s difficult to do without the warm presence of his body against my back, and the reassurance of his strong arm across my waist, keeping me tucked close to him. It’s amazing how quickly I’ve gotten used to sleeping with him – how much I depend on him now. I press my face into his pillow and when I detect a hint of his scent, my throat tightens painfully.

  I’m not at all surprised when I hear a soft knock at the bedroom door. I wipe my damp cheeks on the sheet and clear my throat. “Come in.”

  Cooper has changed into a pair of old sweats and a faded Marine Corps t-shirt. “Hey, kiddo. Mind if I sit down for a minute?”

  I pat the empty side of the mattress. “Have a seat.”

  He sits on the edge of the bed and turns to me, his expression somber. “All right, Beth. Talk to me.”

  I’m afraid if I say anything I’ll start bawling like a baby, so I just shake my head.

  Cooper frowns. “What’s wrong, honey?”

  “He’s... he won’t....” What in the world can I say? Shane makes love to me, but he won’t let me touch him. He makes me come until I can’t see straight, but he won’t let me give him pleasure. “He’s... holding himself back from me. Lia says it’s because he’s punishing himself over Andrew. But I’m afraid – ” I stop midsentence, afraid to put my true fear into words.

  “Afraid what?”

  “What if he’s changed his mind?”

  “About what?”

  “About me. About us.”

  Cooper shakes his head, scoffing at the idea. “Trust me, honey. Shane’s so in love with you he can’t see straight.”

  “He has a funny way of showing it.”

  “Lia’s right. He’s punishing himself.”

  “Then he’s punishing both of us.” Tears spill down my cheeks, and I brush them away.

  “You have to understand where Shane’s head is, honey. He’s the protector. He’s always been the protector, since he was a kid. He’s always protected his younger siblings, and now he protects you. But in this case, he failed. He failed to protect you when you needed him the most, and he’s having a hard time dealing with that.”

  “What happened wasn’t his fault!”

  Cooper shakes his head. “You’ll never convince him of that, Beth. Don’t waste your breath trying. No one’s harder on Shane than he is himself.”

  “Then what do I do? How do I get through to him? Because right now, I feel like he’s giving up on us.”

  “Do exactly what you did today. Throw him off balance, push him. Taking off like you did today had one hell of an effect on him. He’s been pacing his office like a caged tiger since you left, snapping at everyone – including me. Of course I gave him plenty of reason to snap at me. I told him exactly how big an idiot he was. I’m surprised he hasn’t shown up here before now.”

  Exhausted, both physically and emotionally,
I lay my head on Shane’s pillow as the tears resume, burning wet trails down my cheeks. What I wouldn’t give to have Shane here in this bed with me now.

  Cooper brushes my hair back from my face. “Hang in there, kiddo. He’ll come to his senses eventually. You just gotta be patient.”

  Chapter 8

  I’m half-asleep when I feel the mattress dip down beside me. A moment later, a big, warm body presses up against me. He rolls me to my side, facing away from him, so that he can spoon behind me. His arm comes around my waist, and he tucks me in close.

  I smile with relief when I feel his lips in my hair. “Shane?”

  His chuckle is a low rumble against my back. “It had damn well better be me. Go back to sleep, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “You didn’t wake me. I can’t sleep.”

  He squeezes me gently and kisses the back of my head. “Me neither. I missed you. I’m here now, so go to sleep.”

  I know I’m dreaming, because I normally wouldn’t stand naked in broad daylight on the sidewalk in front of my townhouse, on display for the entire neighborhood to see. I shudder, feeling chilled to the bone as I look around to see if anyone’s watching.

  I notice a man standing on the street corner. He’s filthy, dressed in stained jeans and a dirty white t-shirt that doesn’t cover his paunch. His hair is long, combed over to hide his balding head. He’s staring at me, his gaze dull and fixed. I stand there frozen, staring at him with a sense of morbid fascination. I feel as if I should recognize him.

  I’m startled out of my paralysis when he reaches down and rubs himself vulgarly through his jeans, stroking his hardening length with the palm of his meaty hand. Then it dawns on me who he must be.

  I never got a good look at him eighteen years ago. He covered my eyes as soon as he grabbed me off my bike in front of my house. And once I was in his cargo van, he tied an old bandana around my eyes.

  I never once saw his face. The only things I remember are the gravel sound of his voice and his foul breath. I did see a mug shot of him once, years later. He looked just like what I’d expect a monster to look like.... like someone with no heart, no soul. His eyes were glassy and dull.

  I turn to race up the stone steps to my front door, but I’m trapped at the top of the stoop because the door’s locked, and I don’t have my key. I pound my fist on the door, hoping Gabrielle’s home.

  “Open the door, Gabrielle! Open the door!”

  But she doesn’t come, and even without turning to look, I know he’s behind me. I can hear his heavy footsteps as he comes up the stone steps.

  I pound again, until my hand aches. “Gabrielle, open the door!”

  “She’s not home,” he says, in that gruff voice that haunts my dreams. “No one’s home. No one’s coming to rescue you this time.”

  When he grabs me from behind, I scream, thrashing and kicking as I try to free myself.

  He reaches around me and pokes his thick fingers between my legs.

  “No!”

  I kick at him, trying to dislodge him. But he’s so much bigger and stronger than I am. He lifts me off my feet with one arm and holds me suspended above the ground as I struggle to get free. Then his fingers are back between my legs, hurting me as he digs into me, pushing and stabbing at my tender flesh.

  “No!”

  “Jesus, Beth, wake up!”

  I come awake abruptly, my head fuzzy from sleep, and I flinch at the outline of a man looming over me. My vision is blurred by tears, and I can’t make out his face in the semi-darkness. I struggle to get out from under him, trying to scoot away, to escape, but he holds me fast.

  “Sweetheart, it’s all right. You’re safe.”

  Shane.

  And just like that, I sink back down onto the mattress, gasping as I try to catch my breath.

  “Do you need your inhaler?” He’s already reaching for the nightstand drawer on his side of the bed.

  I shake my head and try to slow my breaths. “No. I think I’m okay.”

  He lies back down beside me and kisses my forehead. “That was a bad one. I think I’m going to have a few bruises.”

  “I’m sorry.” I’m groggy from sleep, but I have a dim recollection of Shane crawling into bed with me earlier in the night. “What are you doing here?”

  “I missed you. I couldn’t sleep without you.”

  My breath catches. “I missed you, too.”

  I realize he’s naked, and I can’t resist laying my hand on his chest. I can feel the rapid beating of his heart beneath my palm, and it feels so good to be touching him. I want more. I skim my fingers down his hard abdomen, tracing the ridges of his muscles.

  He captures my hand and brings it to his mouth for a kiss. “We need to talk. I’ve been an ass, Beth, and I’m sorry.”

  I swallow hard. “You’ve been holding yourself back from me.”

  “No, I haven’t – ”

  “Yes, you have.”

  “Beth – ”

  I tug my hand free from his and reach down to his penis, which is already swelling and lengthening. I squeeze him.

  He groans loudly. “Beth, no.” He pulls my hand off of him and holds it captive in his.

  “Have you changed your mind about us?” I’m determined to have it out with him. I have to know. “If you have, then you need to tell me.”

  “God, no!” He squeezes my hand so hard, it hurts.

  “You won’t even let me touch you. Why – ”

  He leans forward and kisses me, his lips prying mine open with a ferocity born of pent-up frustration. His mouth devours mine, sucking and nibbling on my lips, as he pushes up my t-shirt to bare my breasts. His lips trail along my jaw, kissing and nipping me as he moves toward my breasts. His hot, wet tongue lashes at one of my nipples, which puckers so quickly it hurts. I cry out, bowing off the mattress. His hand skims down my torso to my panties, and his fingers slip inside to stroke me. He zeroes in on my clitoris and teases me with firm little circles.

  The pleasure is so sudden and so intense, I can hardly breathe. I’m so hungry for his touch, I’m already close to coming.

  He raises himself up and kisses me again, drinking in my whimpers. “Don’t ever think I don’t want you, Beth.” His voice is hoarse. “I want you all the God damned time. My body aches constantly from wanting you.”

  After shoving the bedding aside, he rises up over me on all fours and kisses his way down my body. He strips off my panties and opens my legs to kneel between them. He trails kisses past my quivering belly to the damp curls between my thighs. And when he presses his face to my crotch and breathes me in, I moan. I grab onto the only thing I can reach – his hair – and hold on for dear life, tugging hard on the short strands.

  He grunts loudly – I’m probably hurting him – but I can’t help it. I need something to hold onto in this maelstrom. He nudges my thighs farther apart and settles between them, using his shoulders to keep them pinned open. When his tongue touches my aching clit, I give a loud cry.

  He practically growls as he licks and sucks me. His finger slips inside me, pushing through my wet flesh, searching until he finds what he’s looking for, and then my thighs are shaking as he strokes me. He knows exactly how to drive me mad. He teases my clitoris mercilessly with his tongue, flicking and circling the little knot of nerves until I’m writhing beneath him, whimpering and gasping helplessly while his finger torments me deep inside.

  When my climax hits, I buck my sex against his mouth, trying to dislodge him from my overly-sensitized flesh. But he continues tonguing me, easing me down with gentle licks and strokes. I finally collapse in a boneless heap, my fingers sifting through his hair.

  As soon as I recover enough to catch my breath, I sit up, looming over him as he’s still lying between my legs, kissing the tender, quivering skin of my inner thighs. I lean down and pull his face up to mine for a kiss. He tastes like me, smells like me. He opens his mouth and draws my tongue inside so he can suck on it. Then he comes up besi
de me and takes me into his arms.

  I take his erection in my hand, wanting to guide him inside me. I’m desperate to have him filling me, stretching me with his iron-hard cock. But he removes my hand.

  I make a face at him. “I need you inside me. I want you to come in me.”

  Breathing hard, he shakes his head. “Tonight is about you, not me. I’m fine.”

  But this time I don’t want to take no for an answer, so I reach for him again and wrap my fingers as far as I can around his erection, which pulses fiercely against my hand. He groans, the sound loud and harsh, then begins thrusting helplessly into my palm, his velvety-soft skin slipping and sliding in my firm grasp. He leans his forehead against mine, his breath coming hard. My fingertips graze the crown of his erection, which is wet with pre-come. I know he’s close.

  I can’t help smiling against his lips. “I’d say your body disagrees.”

  I’m bitterly disappointed when he pries my hand off him once more. “No.”

  I reach up to touch his face, my fingers brushing against his short beard, which is damp from my arousal. It’s an intensely raw and emotional moment. How can this man be so giving to me, and yet so relentless in denying himself? He takes stubborn to a whole new level.

  Shane wipes his face on the sheet, then takes hold of my chin, not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough to get my undivided attention. “Don’t ever think I don’t want you. I always want you. Every minute of every day, I want you. I love you, Beth. Do you understand me?”

  I frown. “Then why won’t you make love with me?”

  “What was that I just did?” he says.

  I reach up to trace his cheekbone and smile sadly. “As much as I love what you just did to me, it’s not the same as having you inside me. I need you inside me, Shane. Or at least let me give you pleasure. It can’t be all one-sided.”

  He frowns. “Just give me some time, okay? I made a vow, and I’m going to keep it.”

  The pain I see in his eyes hurts me to the quick. I cradle his beautiful face in my hands. “Listen carefully, Shane McIntyre. I don’t blame you for what happened.” I glare at him, as if daring him to contradict me.